Terrifying, But True

Ladies and Gents: I would like to take a moment to announce that I am now officially registered to vote within the state of California and the Greater Glorious Nation of Our United States of Amuricar.

Now, I would advise you all to do the same, perhaps even add the action to my next column of such advice (i.e. unsolicited), but I'm just not that political.

"O rly?" you may say. Ya rly. Srsly, folks. Think of the children.

I mean, for starters, they use words like "rly" and "srsly" which only utilize one (not-even-really-but-sometimes) vowel -- and that just royally buggers the balance when it comes to playing Scrabble*, not to mention placing us relatively close to speaking some terrifying sort of abjad. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that this country is in a terrible shambles (and I do hope you've all picked up on this fact by now, because I'd be really worried if you hadn't and were reading this blather regardless) and something should really be done.

Unfortunately, for the previously mentioned reason, that's basically the extent of my rabble-rousing skills -- at least where elections are concerned. Give me a troop of 10 year olds, a tall ship and a brick of tea and it's a completely different kettle of cuttlefish.

Bottom line: There are plenty of fabulous political blogs to be found out there on the Interwebs. This is simply not one of them. However, that does not alter the fact that I will be voting when the election comes around, because this is really just getting absurd.

Do stay tuned for more characteristically useless information tomorrow, as I prepare to set sail on my beloved brig once more. I solemnly swear on my honour as a sea-faring type person that the next post will feature absolutely nothing which is relevant to current affairs in any way, shape, or form. And that's the Bellwood Guarantee™.

*First off, you'd be wasting two perfectly good 's'es and not even scoring very much to boot. Never use an 's' unless you can score at least 17 points with it. Of course, if one was able to land the 'y' on, say, a triple letter, and that primary 's' on the end of another relatively high-scoring word, I suppose allowances could be made -- but let's not undermine our own argument here.