Wednesday, November 5, 2008

A Brief Re/Nightcap

So.

The Election of 2008, which we have all participated in, which embodies our future, which has, at last, given us hope at the end of a long, dark tea-time of the soul period in the history of America, is over. It was momentous, unbelievable, touching, and inspiring. If I could pick any part of history to truly be a part of, this would have to be it.

Lucky for me, then, that I got to stand, packed shoulder to shoulder with my fellow students, watching the results come in, until the final tumultuous cry of joy went up and the champagne corks blew and the arms flew round the shoulders.

Yet it wasn't until the crowd celebrating Obama's victory, both in Chicago and Vollum Lecture Hall on Reed College Campus in Portland, Oregon, began the now-infamous chant of "Yes We Can" that I felt tears in my eyes. I broke down. I wept like a baby -- crying, laughing, not being able to tell which was which.

There, at last, after so many years of cynicism and outrage and the inability to be proud of my country and my heritage, I felt as if I belonged. No more the dismissive wave of the hand and the closing remark: "I don't talk about politics. They disgust me." Or the need to leave the room -- or worse, the country -- when the President came on television to discuss the state of the nation. Here was the America I had wished I could come home to from my travels. The America I dreamed would be welcomed and respected by the world. The America I carry in my back pocket as a passport -- the one I no longer want to shred in favor of my other, more Continentally-flavoured option.

This was the America I had almost stopped believing existed, since the moment I became old enough to glean even vaguely what was happening in the governing of our country, it was already too late. In these last eight years I've grown a great deal emotionally, mentally, and physically (though my current goal of 5'7" remains 1/4" distant -- and the gap doesn't seem to be closing), but through all those years I've felt a disconnect between my indentity and my ideals. The world does need change. The world needs inspiration. The world needs action. Action driven by honesty and a desire for solutions. We are no longer in an age of desperate measures. We are capable of working together to create an America which ceases to flail madly and lash out with violence and turmoil when trouble rears its ugly head. We are in good hands. Our own.

With all this in mind, we jubilantly embraced and laughed together in Vollum, before seeking out further revelry. Being a college of a rather liberal and Democratic persuasion, Reed believes that any event of import, certainly this most astonishing and miraculous of elections, may only truly, justly be celebrated by two means: dancing and nudity.

It is therefore hardly surprising that following President-Elect Obama's acceptance speech, we flooded boisterously to the Student Union, with its enormous couch see-saw and glorious vaulted ceiling, shed our garments, and danced as if the stars had floated down to say hello. As if we would never have another opportunity like this. Another night so glorious. And maybe that's true. There were lights and fog and preposterously amazing music and, most importantly of all, a community of people who were absolutely over the moon. Such joy is infectious -- and even now, exhausted, hoarse, blistered, bruised, and rather unprepared for a day of classes tomorrow, I am bursting with great pleasure and hope.

I hope you've all celebrated in your own ways -- quiet or loud -- and I want to say "thank you," because you have all brought this country the leader it needs. And though he embodies the policies we believe in, it is also important to remember that we, the people, elected him. The responsibility of change is in our hands too. Remember kindness. Remember patience. Change doesn't have to build continents from scratch. Most days, it's more than enough to offer a smile and a hug, or a story, or a helping hand. Start small. I promise you the day will come when we move mountains.

Rest well, America of my dreams. Tomorrow is a new, beautiful day.

Monday, November 3, 2008

My Fellow Americans...

You already know what I'm going to say -- so just get out there and do it already. Those of us who have placed our votes in "early" hands will be living vicariously through you tomorrow.

On a vaguely connected note, if you ever have the chance to see The Capitol Steps perform live, please, please go. They're hilarious.

For the international readership of this publication: We're trying, ladies and gentlemen. Really. Wish us luck.

We may now commence with the holding of the breath.

Friday, October 17, 2008

The Relay

Roundabout the start of term, there were a great many Orientation Week t-shirts on display bearing the slogan "Reed College: It's not a sprint, it's a marathon."

Now, I'm sure the designers of this shirt had the best intentions, but it came off a little daunting. Yes to the journey, not the destination. Yes to the process, not the result. But a marathon? Are people going to be dumping bottles of water over my head as I emerge from my finals? Is my diet going to consist entirely of salt packets and goop-in-a-tube? Will I be forced to wear poncy neon shorts? I certainly hope not.

However, if we were to run with this metaphor a little longer, replacing marathon with "relay race," we could say that I've just reached my first hand-off point. Trouble being, I've failed to hand anything over. I have, instead, inadvertently set my shorts alight with the torch, then thrown it into the nearby Olympic swimming pool and started to dance the macarena.

Those of you who have taken AP English will doubtless be able to analyze this most righteous of metaphors and discover that I am, in fact, talking about Fall Break. Reed students are given a week at the end of October to cavort and gambol after midterms. This is a wise choice, and it feels like it couldn't have come at a better time. Although I'm settled and happy here, I miss my cats. I miss Ojai. I miss my family and my books and my preposterous mess of a room. And oranges. Oregon has a lot of stuff going for it, but jeez-oh-man they cannot fucking grow oranges. Yeesh.

Anyway. My one and only midterm has come and gone, and now I shoulder my trusty backpack once more and set off in search of the airport. They tell me it's big. I should be able to spot it without too much trouble.

Those of you around at home, stand by. Those of you elsewhere, keep doing whatever it is you're doing that makes you all so lovely/awesome/witty/literary/tall/short/artistic/multilingual/nude. Anyone else: DANCE!

That is all.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Life and Times of a Statiophiliac

As many of you may already be aware, I have a problem. It's the sort of condition that generally plagues me in public, alarming those in my immediate vicinity, and has, to my knowledge, no known cure. If I'm lucky, it manifests itself in the form of lurking -- perhaps with a bit of cooing, mumbling, and caressing thrown in. If unlucky, it leaves me slavering shamelessly in front of shop windows, begging passers-by for change and screaming about binding glue and ink tone.

I am, in short, a Statiophiliac.

Perhaps you've known these people in your time. An aunt who keeps postage stamps in her hair, an old classmate who spends just a little too much time in the library on Friday nights. These people have needs. These needs have a language. But whatever you call it -- stamping, Decoupage, literary ephemering, print-making, fountain penning, ink dunking, book sniffing -- the cause is the same. All these people are consumed with a burning obsession. A burning, papery obsession. They can do nothing to break away.

It is by this lighthearted discussion that I mean to introduce the topic for today -- namely, my completely willingness to do absolutely anything for journals, pens, stamps, envelopes, paper, and sealing wax. So naturally, when I found out that one of blogs I read, which caters specifically to this kind of audience (Or that subset thereof consisting of people dedicating their lives to the search for a cheaper Moleskine alternative), was staging a competition for which the prize was THREE FREE PICCADILLY NOTEBOOKS, I knew my carefully-constructed defenses were all in vain.

Here, then, is my entry for said contest, which really only needs to consist of a link to the blog in question. However, I thought I might take the opportunity to simultaneously educate you all a little about how the other half lives. Because your ignorance leaves us waking up beside some strange college-ruled, spiral-bound abomination on Monday morning who may not even fall under the prestigious heading of "stationary" -- despite its claims to the contrary after all that Mod Podge sealant the night before.

The site in question, which deals with the endless search for the perfect "Black Notebook" can be found here. And while I'm about it, Notebookism publishes some great reviews along the same lines. For notebooks in the field, check out Write In My Journal and the 1000 Journals Project. And finally, for those who need inspiration of a more postal nature, the Letter Writer's Alliance provides you with convenient links and reviews to the most titilating new postage-based joys the web can provide. Oh! While you're at it, the site's founders run the indomitable 16 Sparrows stationary press. And what's more...

I'm sure you all get the point. Now get out of here. I've got books to fondle.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

All Your Tuna Are Belong To Us

We found a cat. The cat likes us. We like the cat.

If all goes according to plan, she will never go away ever again.

Molly, our fearless leader, found her hanging around the amphitheater and managed to coax her back to the dorm, where we rewarded her with a full pouch of tuna. Short work was made of this offering, and soon she stopped being quite so skittish and decided that she liked us enough to hang around and be petted for a while.

However, since Jasper the Rabbit lives in the common room where this delicious bundle of felinity was sleeping, we needed to remove her, so she's here. In bed. In my bed. There is a cat in my bed. Purring with the force of a two stroke diesel engine. It's pure and utter bliss.

I've left my window open in case she feels the need to leave me, but with the strategic acquisition of more tuna, I may just be able to keep her. Here's hoping.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Things Your Mother Would Probably Approve Of (Tentative Part Three in a Potentially Ongoing and Evolving Series)

Words which, when pluralized, end in -oxes. Foxes, boxes, equinoxes, etc.

Which brings us nicely to the weather in Portland at the moment, which has shifted sharply from warm and muggy to torrentially deluged. I personally find this a very acceptable way to usher in the delicious months of Autumn (starting tomorrow at 3:40 pm), and have celebrated by brewing a really magnificent cup of tea and settling down in bed to read countless pages of Greek lyric poetry.

My muscles are sufficiently annoyed with me for playing a vicious game of Ultimate Frisbee yesterday, not to mention learning to dance some basic Argentine Tango last night, so I've attained my required standard of exertion (and then some) for the weekend. Now is the time for curling up and studying.

Bless you Reed for successfully matching meteorology with academics.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Wonderbust? Winterrust? Wrongfulgust?

I really, truly, honestly need to change the title of this blog, or simply close it down and begin anew with a vaguely more coherent set of goals regarding the documentation of my life and academic adventures.

Suggestions, ladies and gentlemen?

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Bears: Trounced, Paradise: Attained

If gorgeous wilderness wasn't enough to get the academic year moving on a high note, Reed itself has pulled out all the stops to insure that we, as new students, are made to feel, not only welcome, but completely infatuated with our new home.

In the space of an afternoon I have been...

...ambushed and spontaneously taught by 40 jugglers, left to spend as much time as I see fit in a cavernous, couch-filled goldmine containing every graphic novel I've wanted to read for the last six years, shoved into the no-man's-land space created between three simultaneous dance parties (all with separate pounding stereos playing different music, mind you) and told to dance, involved in a physics-based discussion about pie warfare with more that ten people at the same time, and passed by a swooping group of what can only be described as Viking marauders -- on bicycles -- wielding LARP-based foam weaponry.

However, the more I hear from returning students, the more I am astonished and thrilled to hear that this is nothing out of the ordinary.

To clarify: this happens all year long.

In short: I am here, and very, very happy about it.

Monday, August 18, 2008

The Lowdown

I feel as if I haven't had time to draw breath since the moment I hit the Hard running back in July, so here's a brief list (You know I love 'em) of what's been going on in my life of late.

1. Knitting a space invader.
2. Painting a 7'x10' jungle mural for some adorable children.
3. Reading The Iliad (again).
4. Attending a pilates class for the first time in my life, just to see what all the fuss was about.
5. Drawing again after a lengthy creative dry spell.
6. Coming 3rd in a Scrabble Tournament.
7. Packing my life into a series of boxes and, coming soon...

...Moving to Portland.

To avoid this turning into the obligatory "moving away to college, life so full of change and impermanence, woe and calamity, blood and gore, et cetera and et cetera" post, I'll focus on the bright side. Indeed, I haven't even had time to explore the disagreeable portions of it myself, owing to the aforementioned not having time to draw breath situation.

First off, my new address, for those of you in the know -- or you absolute strangers who stumble upon me with a burning desire to send mail to other absolute strangers (and unto you I bestow this link: http://sendsomething.net) -- will be as follows up in the land of the Port:

Lucy Bellwood
Reed College MS#76
3203 SE Woodstock Blvd.
Portland OR 97202-8199

Try as I might to see everyone before leaving the sunny lands of California, I will most certainly fail, so I suggest you start penning postcards now. I'll be incommunicado for my first 4 days up there, owing to Reed's long-standing tradition of sending all incoming students out into the wilderness to do battle with bears prior to the start of term. Those who survive will be granted a place in the class of 2012. I foresee only glowing victory in this arena.

Bottom line: I'm excited, though nothing's really sinking/sunk in yet, and so I remain blissfully delusional and a little unhinged, muddling through unfamiliar territory towards intellectual paradise. I will do my best to keep you all informed.

Two Six!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Over The Wine-Dark Sea

July 9th, 2008

I am home. My toenails are painted blue like the sea. I feel as if I've never left, and yet know it can't be possible. Were that the case, how did I incur this plethora of new and exciting injuries? Rainbows of bruises, swollen knuckles from dislocated fingers, gentle scrapes, peeling sunburn -- most importantly, the deep ebb and flood of yearning for my home on the water and the salty, wildmad lovers I left therein.

Suddenly I speak a foreign language in a native tongue. People stare at me, perplexed, as I run through complex explanations to
supplement jokes about bilge pumps and bulkheads. My idiom is fast becoming obsolete and so I furiously tread water, writing letters and burning promised mix CD's for shipmates. Trying to recall the smell of salt on my skin and wind in my hair.


Normal service to resume shortly.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Land of the Free...

In Canada. Have failed entirely (apparent, I'm sure) to update in the promised fashion. Am a worm. Please forgive. News to follow? I make no promises these days.

On the other hand: SHIPS! LOTS! MANY! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Lost and Found

EXCITING NEWS OF INJURIES SUSTAINED SOON TO FOLLOW.

STAND BY HANDSOMELY.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Deceptive Truths

I just listened to a passing mother tell her child "Look sweetie! See how high that mast is? That's how deep the rudder sits in the water."

I'm relieved to report that the child displayed a healthy amount of skepticism at this statement. Firstly, because you should never believe everything you're told -- but more importantly because it's fucking nonsense.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Friday, May 2, 2008

Waxing Lyrical

There is, shockingly, working wireless on the brig today and therefore, as I have, also shockingly, been given a whole day off, you're all being treated to an update.

The only difficulty at this point is that everything of relevance to my life now relates to tall ship sailing and tall ship sailors -- who, as it has already been pointed out by someone famous and witty (Twain, perhaps?), are the loveliest of persons, but atrociously prone to jargon*. This makes everything I now want to talk about just about unintelligible to practically everyone. So I'll try to do it right and not leave you all thinking me either a) mad or b) one baggy short of a wrinkle.

Sailing aplenty has occurred, as have multitudinous Ed Programs, docksides, and midnight adventures. After joining the vessel in Crescent City, I resettled myself aboard for the long haul (Although I am, for the moment, living in the main hold -- normally reserved for the more transient crew members) and got back into the rhythm of life on the drink. It is, in a word, fulfilling.

Apart from being more fun than a barrel of monkey's fists, it's deeply satisfying in ways I can barely explain. Working tirelessly, keeping the vessel I love in shape for the sake of astounding all the small minds who cross her decks, collapsing into bed after stand-down with my muscles ready to drop from my bones with weariness, feeling the sun I've absorbed into my skin making my pillow glow, eating heartily and singing loudly -- being filled with so much gratitude that it makes me swell with happiness every minute of every day.

These are the ingredients of a perfect life.

After a three day diversion to Eureka to pick up on any school groups we missed due to the aforementioned snafu, we're back in Crescent City -- reunited with the Hawaiian Chieftain (our companion vessel) and taking the extra day before the weekend madness to tackle various maintenance projects. Monday sees us on our way to Coos Bay, OR and beyond up the Columbia river, but in the meantime, we're doing a substantial amount of Battle Sails through Saturday and Sunday. This means exhaustion aplenty, so expect very little from me until next week at least. I figured I should just let you all know that I'm still alive, covered in pine tar, and loving every minute of it.

Fair winds and following seas...

*Although apparently, there is help.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics

For the past two days, I've spent a great of time working public tours aboard the Lady Washington. Following six months on land, I'd forgotten just how many absurd questions we get asked on a daily basis.

Today's doozy came from a young man of about 14. Facing the steps to the ramp by which he had boarded the vessel not 10 minutes prior to the exchange, he gazed at me with eyes full of a infinite, unspeakable woe and asked "But how do I get off?"

Conversely, there are also a fair amount of delightful quotes from the children who come aboard for our educational sails. Some are heartwarming, others simply hilarious -- like this one from last week's group of 3rd grade students. A crew member teaching about the life of an Officer in the 1700's received the following answers when asking "Okay, guys, think about it this way. Who enforces the law today?"

"Uhh..."
"The President!"
"My mom!"
"Our teacher!"
"You guys!"

And, finally:

"The Mafia!"

I'm sure you can figure out which one was correct.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Farewell and Adieu To You, Spanish Ladies

Well, not precisely.

I mean, I'm fairly sure there are at least two Spanish ladies reading this, but I'm not just saying farewell and adieu to them, obviously. It's more to do with the fact that I'm actually going sailing -- at long bloody last -- and so I thought it would be appropriate to quote something nautical, which makes this a reference to the popular sailor's tune and not, in fact, a literal valediction.

Good. Glad we got that little misunderstanding cleared up. Now for the explaining which is actually necessary and not just a load of blather.

I set forth at an ungodly hour last Thursday morning for Eureka, CA -- fully expecting to meet my beloved Lady Washington at the dock upon my arrival. However, due to some unerring 6th sense, I thought it might be wise to get in touch with a CouchSurfing host prior to leaving -- just in case. This proved wiser than I could possibly imagine, as I was informed via press releases later that afternoon that Lady had been delayed 24 hours due to bad weather. No worries, as I was going to stay with my hosts, Joyce and Darrell, for a night anyway.

Unfortunately, the next day, in spite of assurances from the Office that we'd be seeing t'gallants by 4pm, another press release emerged saying there'd been further bad weather off the South end of the Humboldt Bay bar. Seeing no other option but to sit tight and wait it out, I gratefully accepted the offer of another night in Eureka.

By Saturday morning, Lady had made another attempt at crossing the bar, only to be turned back yet again. In order to stay on schedule, the Office decided to cancel all events and ed programs in Eureka and head straight for Crescent City when the weather cleared. There was no suggested ETA. Fortunately, about this time, I recalled the fact that an old friend was attending university in the area and rang her up. She was more than delighted to whisk me away for the weekend, and so we spent a few days cavorting in Arcata.

Although the time was pleasantly passed, it did offer a terrifying glimpse into collegiate living for the moderately impoverished. And while the impoverishment wasn't really a problem, the cause of it was. All funds acquired in the area seem to be spent directly on either drugs or alcohol, which, I'm sure you can imagine, leads to a gaping hole in place of anything resembling a) intelligent conversation or b) anything else decent or worthwhile. I began to grow restless, resenting the time I could've spent at home in the warmth of Ojai and yearning for the rough and tumble of the sea in equal measure.

Monday afternoon I received an update saying that the brig was finally underway with an estimated ETA of four days. Joyce and Darrell had gone above and beyond the call of duty as hosts, offering me a place to stay for the rest of the week -- as well as a ride up to Crescent City (An hour and half north, for reference) as soon as Lady was docked.

Yesterday, I arrived home and found an update waiting for me with the glorious news that Lady was in a day early, crew exhausted from an epic transit, but all in one piece and waiting for me to join her. After crashing out at 7 last night, I've awoken rested and ready to go. All that remains is to repack my bags and make the drive, and then I can finally start regrowing my callouses and strengthening my limbs and singing my heart out. So I'd best get on with that.

For the next two months, internet acquisition depends entirely upon which port we happen to be in and how many unsuspecting homeowners in the area have left their wireless unprotected. I will, however, do my best to keep this updated.

In the meantime: Enjoy yourselves, you crazy diamonds.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Thursday, April 17, 2008

NO TIME! (AUCUNE HEURE!)

AM ABOUT TO GO SAILING! (JE SUIS UNE NAVIGATRICE!) HAVE LEFT NO TIME FOR BLOGGING! (C'EST UNE CATASTROPHE!) MUST GET OUT OF BED AGAIN AT 4 AM! (NE VOULEZ PAS!) WILL RETURN TO OJAI IN JULY! (JE SUIS PLEIN DE LA FOLIE!)

ALSO! (AUSSI BIEN!) CAPS = URGENCY AND HUMOUR! (ADROIT!) I HAVE HURLED MY ROCK! (MISSILE DE PROJECTILE!) DEAD BIRDS NUMBER TWO! (SQUAUX!) THE DAY, SHE IS MINE! (VIVE PIRATERIE!)

CHUTE EN SOMMEIL MAINTENANT!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Terrifying, But True

Ladies and Gents: I would like to take a moment to announce that I am now officially registered to vote within the state of California and the Greater Glorious Nation of Our United States of Amuricar.

Now, I would advise you all to do the same, perhaps even add the action to my next column of such advice (i.e. unsolicited), but I'm just not that political.

"O rly?" you may say. Ya rly. Srsly, folks. Think of the children.

I mean, for starters, they use words like "rly" and "srsly" which only utilize one (not-even-really-but-sometimes) vowel -- and that just royally buggers the balance when it comes to playing Scrabble*, not to mention placing us relatively close to speaking some terrifying sort of abjad. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that this country is in a terrible shambles (and I do hope you've all picked up on this fact by now, because I'd be really worried if you hadn't and were reading this blather regardless) and something should really be done.

Unfortunately, for the previously mentioned reason, that's basically the extent of my rabble-rousing skills -- at least where elections are concerned. Give me a troop of 10 year olds, a tall ship and a brick of tea and it's a completely different kettle of cuttlefish.

Bottom line: There are plenty of fabulous political blogs to be found out there on the Interwebs. This is simply not one of them. However, that does not alter the fact that I will be voting when the election comes around, because this is really just getting absurd.

Do stay tuned for more characteristically useless information tomorrow, as I prepare to set sail on my beloved brig once more. I solemnly swear on my honour as a sea-faring type person that the next post will feature absolutely nothing which is relevant to current affairs in any way, shape, or form. And that's the Bellwood Guarantee.

*First off, you'd be wasting two perfectly good 's'es and not even scoring very much to boot. Never use an 's' unless you can score at least 17 points with it. Of course, if one was able to land the 'y' on, say, a triple letter, and that primary 's' on the end of another relatively high-scoring word, I suppose allowances could be made -- but let's not undermine our own argument here.

Friday, April 11, 2008

To Be Used For The Forces of Evil

I seem to have spent a great portion of the day slaughtering flies, but that's winding down now on account of my being rather adept at it and therefore running low on victims. So, a few exciting developments to be reported on, aside from the deaths of countless buzzing insects:

First and foremost, I have, with great expenditure of effort, deep cleaned my room. This may sound mundane to the common reader, but those familiar with the Bellwood family's astonishing capacity for the creation of Epic Chaos will doubtless be impressed by the fact. Of course, as I'm leaving again in a few short days, all the carefully dusted surfaces will once more acquire a sneeze-inducing patina of filth (Where does it all come from?) that will be purged anew in July. Still, it's nice for now.

I have also acquired a new and much-needed bookshelf -- an empty space which I can (and will) use to justify the purchase of many new and exciting books.

Secondly, I've devoted a shocking amount of time to cleaning outside my personal domain in The Shire* proper, as we have a real live human who is not a member of the family coming to stay. My very own, first-time-ever, fresh-outta-the-box Couchsurfing guest! Emmanuelle will be joining us for two nights starting today from France, so we figured now was as good a time as any to dispose of all those spare corpses and voodoo-related chickenfeather effigies lying around. Good choice.

There's more, always more, but it's 3:30 in the fucking morning, which is hardly a decent hour for a decent being to be awake at. Some of you may wish to argue that I'm hardly decent, and would probably be entirely correct in your convictions, but that doesn't change the fact that I am very, very sleepy indeed. Exciting recommendations will follow tomorrow, as well as whatever else I had in mind when I set out to update but somehow forgot to include.

It's just nice to show some floor again. Even if it sure as hell ain't gonna last.

*If you insist, Ms. Bennett.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Tintinnabulation In The Charivari, Among Other Things

Seriously. It's an enormous problem.

But, putting that aside for the moment, let's have a brief chat. I appear to be facing a crisis, Dear Readers, and therefore turn to your infinitely wise selves for advice.

Being somewhat sedentary once more, I am out of exciting travel-related stories to plug easily into this template as and when they happen to me. My only remaining option, should I wish to stay the course with regards to my general style thus far, lies dangerously within the "Band Camp" category of anecdotal relation. (If one replaces "Band Camp" with "Europe," naturally.) It would also, I imagine, be quite sickeningly nostalgic.

So! Progress! Change! Dramatic Social Restructuralization! And the invention of words to disguise the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing WHATSOEVER!

The question I put to you all is this, and do answer with a little bit of forethought, as your choices may shape the very nature of Reality itself -- at least where this blog is concerned:

What now?

I find myself torn between a few options. They are as follows.

1. Rambling about my life and the things I've been doing. Most likely in a sporadic and varied fashion, on account of that being the way my life normally unfolds. This option will probably be moderately interesting to some and incredibly dull to countless others.*

2. Launching into a new and more organized era of literary, cinematic, and theatrical criticism regarding things I'm reading and watching. Not, of course, mutually exclusive with any other options.

3. Foregoing any sort of coherent reviewing process and, instead, simply recommending things I enjoy with little regard for form or content. This option may include a certain amount of pompous bollocks, as it would probably end in me sounding like someone's mother explaining for the umpteenth time why I know best and that of course you should take the brown sweater because it looks better with those trousers and besides, darling, it's cold out there...

Etcetera.

3(a). Starting an exhaustive log of things I discover in my bellybutton.

4. Err...

5. That's it.

Somehow, I thought there were more.

So what say you, my fine feathered friends? Feel free to suggest things which differ wildly from the suggestions provided if their manner of suggestiness doesn't meet with your approval. I live to serve.

Also, I realize that this may be entirely pointless, as I'll be aboard a tall ship in 10 days and therefore unlikely to write very often. It will also doubtless provide me with enough anecdotes to power a small doomsday device, and therefore effectively solve my problem for me. Mostly I'm just curious to see a) Who actually reads this thing and b) How you react to the terrifyingly thorny circlet of responsibility.

May the best suggestor win.

*A relative term if one keeps in mind the fact that my total readership has only been known to number more than 6 on rare occasions. And at least 3 of those 6 are blood relatives.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Going, going...

Gone for the next four days down in Claremont. Terrifying locale, excellent company. I should be back in the land of the living Tuesday afternoon.

In the meantime, if any of you are looking for some quality entertainment this weekend, amble in the general direction of Theatre 150 for their current production of "Fuddy Meers." You won't be disappointed.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Ohgodwhy?

I am slain by crippling agonies of the stomach.

Lucky chillins at HVS, you'll have the pleasure of my company for lunch this afternoon. Kindly prepare yourselves for hugs and harsh judgments.

(I have no idea what's become of my verbosity from days of yore, but bear with me. I'm sure there will be something worth rambling about soon.)

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Joy and Glory

My new MacBook arrived today. Please pause for ecstatic dance. Normal service to resume shortly. With Widgets.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Aaarrghh! or: How I Learned to Stop Bleeding and Love the Coagulant Properties of Albino Seasonings

[Disclaimer: This post contains information which could just save your life someday.]

Whilst slicing enthusiastically into a watermelon for dessert this evening, I managed to open a gaping wound across the pad of my left thumb. This led to a violent stream of colourful piratical expletives and, indeed, blood. I stopped leaping around when I realized I was giving the kitchen a new spatter
paint job and decided to do something more constructive, like plunging the offending gash into a pile of white pepper which my mother had thoughtfully dumped onto the kitchen counter.

White pepper is an oft-ignored cure for most of the problems related to lacerations of the flesh. It creates an artificial scab almost instantaneously and disinfects the wound to boot. This is something people always seem surprised to learn -- perhaps because the standard associations one has with pepper aren't exactly in the "soothing cure-all" vein -- but it has proved invaluable on numerous occasions.

On further reflection, a part of me wonders if this wasn't (at least partially) intentional, simply because I've been searching high and low for an excuse to utilize some recently acquired bandagery-based delights. Not that I'll be making a habit of it, because it does hurt (a lot)
and it's seriously putting a damper on my latest knitting project, but honestly, who wouldn't be excited to bust out piratical band-aids at a time like this?

That's what I thought.

Heritage (Of The Inescapable Sort)

I should hardly be surprised that, coming as I do from a brood of mess-making clutter-based life forms, my first attempts at serious culinary experiment should end in this. The resulting dish, however, was quite tasty. Low-carb Moussaka, catering to the requirements of having a diabetic in the house, constructed with the aid of lunacy and knives. Plus bushels of cheese, cream, eggs, onions, garlic, mincemeat, aubergine, and seasoned tomato sauce. Opa!

There is a great deal that could be said about coming home after so many months, but it's difficult to know where to begin. Ojai is, in many ways, exactly the same as it was before I left. Then again, it's also somewhat like a David Lynch film. Certain small things, otherwise unimportant, have shifted ever so slightly. This is somehow far more disturbing than coming home to find that the place has been overrun by triffids and set on fire. New shop front here, demolished block of houses there, a few fixtures of the social landscape permanently altered -- it feels less and more like home than it did before, which is a change I don't really want to investigate too closely in case it turns me inside out and backwards at the same time like some sort of Escherwoman.

Bottom line, it feels good to be here. I'm just a little more finely stretched than I was before.
Lets more light in anyway.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Essentials

I suppose a more accurate addendum to my previous post would've been "And then I drop off the face of the Earth for half a month," but it's a bit late for that now. The only purpose that this post serves is to reveal a rather crucial and surreal piece of information:

I am home.

Jet lag prevents me from going into much more detail than that, but those, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, are the facts.

(So help me God.)

Friday, February 29, 2008

Mammary Update

"Do you hear that, Sarah? The little bugger says he's got breasts!"

Unfortunately, simply saying that I've got the goods doesn't seem to do it. Ah well. Back to the drawing board.

Or rather...not. Why? Here's why. Tomorrow, kiddies, I go Cambridge. I go to Cambridge for ten whole days. There will be fortresses. There will be glee. There may even be morris dancing -- but that's only if I'm feeling particularly, splendidly ambitious.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Gender Issues

Life, my crafty old nemesis, seems to keep moving forward and bringing more and more Blog-worthy things into my sphere of awareness. This is great, because it's nice to actually have something to write about when one sits down to write, but also profoundly not great because it means that if I let too many days go by, I find myself simply unable to catch up to all the wonders that have transpired before the here and now. In the last batch of days we've had Florence, food, absurdist Russian spectacle theatre, romance, reunions, and raving relatives. However, I'm going to have to leave the great majority of these topics scattered around the globe in various letters, because this particular blog is going to be about my mad Grandmother and the specifics of female anatomy. Tantalized and titillated? Read on...

I arrived back in England on the 20th (a much anticipated date) and managed to locate my mother on an evening train bound for King's Lynn the following day. After much happy leaping and giggling, we managed to settle down enough to exchange stories of all that had transpired in the five months since we'd last clapped eyes on each other. The end of the WGA strike came as particularly welcome news, as it means I'll actually have a house to come home to instead of a refrigerator box with bookshelves. And the Oscars got to happen. Which I suppose is good for those people who won Oscars. Well done there.

We've ended up together in Sedgeford, a very small town in the wilds of Norfolk inhabited by various relatives of mine. The only one who's actually related to me by blood, my grandmother Wendy, has Alzheimer's and is quite mad. I may have touched upon this is a previous post. She is, however, a delightful woman who is still quite shockingly silly and incredibly rude. (See: Unafraid to gesture as to just where I could stick the carrot I was trying to feed her this evening over dinner.) Unfortunately, she has very little short-term memory, and therefore tends to forget who I am a great deal. I was alright with this on previous visits, but as I've cut off all my hair in recent weeks, she keeps mistaking me for a member of the opposite sex.

Granted, I have become used to this since I first cut my hair short six years ago, but under normal circumstances a single correction is all you need to make the offending person blush scarlet and apologise profusely. Not so here. Regardless of how many times I patiently explain that I am, in fact, a girl. Named Lucy.

"Yes, that's right. Lucy Bellwood. Your granddaughter. Yes. Daughter. No, really I am. And that's my mother, who's your daughter. No, I just said. I'm a girl. Yes. Why? Because I like having it this short. No, we're visiting from America and we -- FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH!"

Etcetera.

It's essentially like re-living the same five minutes over and over again for all eternity. Or at least all of ten days. I try to maintain my sanity by doing the crossword every morning and knitting with concentrated ferocity -- two activities which, in and of themselves, already seem to suggest a distinct lack of normal. Maybe I'm not doing so well after all...

Anyway, the moment in particular that I'd like to draw your attention to took place over breakfast the other morning. Sunshine was slanting through the French windows, turning the kitchen pleasant and warm. My mother was sipping a suspiciously green healthy smoothie and Wendy, sat opposite me, was spitting bits of tomato skin about the place with reckless abandon. In the course of her circular conversations, she had been asking "And who's that lovely young man over there?" quite frequently. At first, I had answered patiently that I was, in fact, her granddaughter, and hoped that she would get the idea, but no luck. I moved on to just saying "GIRL" very pointedly every time she used the wrong personal pronoun, but still to no avail.

The sheer hopelessness of it all started to get to me. I was also stuck on a particularly obscure crossword clue. And I hadn't eaten. I also hadn't slept much the night before. Basically, I'm just trying to find an excuse for what happened next, but there isn't really a good one to be had. The fact of the matter is that after I'd shouted "I'm a GIRL!" for about the 13th time, she looked at me in a befuddled manner and asked "But why are you a girl?" In retrospect, I have been able to correctly identify this as The Last Straw, mainly because, in response, I proceeded to tear open my kimono and bellow "BECAUSE I HAVE THESE!"

Many things happened in quick succession at that point. My mother spat smoothie across half the table, I realized that I had, effectively, just flashed my oldest surviving relative (at the breakfast table no less), and my grandmother looked quite taken aback for a few moments before bursting into peals of laughter. After expelling the remainder of her smoothie (Thankfully into the glass from whence it came) my mother did the same. And I, breasters akimbo and feeling slightly silly, couldn't help but join in.

This may now go down in history as the defining moment of what it means to be a member of the long and noble line of Christie women. In short: We're all raving lunatics, Alzheimer's or no. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

For those of you who take a scientific interest in this sort of thing, I am happy to report that my drastic exhibitionism did actually result in a lack of gender confusion for all of the next five minutes. Still, one has to start somewhere.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Brevity

I seem to have shorn off a great deal of my hair. Again. More accurately, an Italian-Iranian magician with a penchant for foreign languages and sushi seems to have shorn it off for me. This probably explains why I'm still in posession of both my ears.

Unfortunately, it wasn't even particularly warm when there was hair to spare, so now things are positively frigid. Hats are required. To meet this demand, I have taken up my mighty needles once more and am knitting. This, in turn, brings the grand total of "Things Which Cause Passers-By to Stare Rudely at Me" up to 3, if one counts lack of hair and eccentric taste in pants as the first two.

Essentially: I'm still above ground and sucking air. I'll wax lyrical for your collective edification and amusement shortly. Promise.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Happy Shouts with a Moderate Side of Pesto

A great deal has transpired, and therefore there is a great deal to be said. However, there is little time to say it in, and so we'll have to be content with whatever drifts to the surface of my psyche at present.

Today, walking past the Duomo to sup on polenta and crema cotta, I met my old friend Monsieur A -- a gentleman who's consistently been making me smile since I first met him in Paris at the age of 10. Our relationship has been fleeting and mysterious, but I am exceedingly glad that he's a part of my life. If you see him on your various travels, make sure to let me know. He promises postcards, but is notoriously unreliable.

Italy (among other things at present) has stolen my heart. I've met a continuous stream of magical, lovely people and can't stop myself from smiling all the time at the beauty of my surroundings. Between the food, the architecture, the language, and the sunshine, I am in a state of constant bliss. A great deal of time is devoted to not spending great wadges of cash on stationary -- which was assisted (until now) by the total lack of cash on my personage. My wallet was not recovered, so living was precarious for my week in Roma. Fortunately, my replacement bank card has arrived and so (for better or worse) I may now access my funding once more. So far I haven't blown the remainder of my savings on leather journals and sealing wax, but it's a close thing.

Highlights from Roma included attending a Carnivale Libre in Poggio Mirteto (A small mountain town northeast of the city), being treated to "The Never-Ending Dinner" with my charming Couchsurfing hostess, Nathalie, writing the final words on the last page of my journal, watching cats ruling over ruins in the Area Sacra Argentina, sleeping in the sun, and tasting the world's most blissful gelato under a crescent moon. To pause for a moment on this last item: My two scoops of heaven were "Cream, lavender, and chamomile" atop "Rosehips with Orange Blossoms." I can assure you it was every bit as blissful as it sounds. Other gastronomic delights included ice cold limoncello, mirto, and moscato rosé, amaretto, pasta pappardelle with shrimp and fresh tomatoes, grilled spigola with potatoes, and porchetta sandwiches. Oh goodness. I seem to be salivating again.

Stumbling upon the Pantheon is enough to set one reeling with delight, but if that isn't enough there are a thousand twisting alleyways to explore -- each one full of eccentric balconies, cascading ferns, tumbledown restaurants, and secret stores full of unimaginable delights. It's a paradise. For perspective, the view over the city from the Monumento a Giuseppe Garibaldi is beyond belief, and the mountains and valleys in the surrounding countryside are full of picturesque late afternoon light, green fields, and shimmering olive groves.

I arrived here in Firenze last night, quite tired and deliriously happy, to be met by my current hosts Holly and Cassiope. Obviously, people who envelop you with hugs the moment you step off your train are good company. I have not been disappointed. Not only with them, but with every Couchsurfer encountered in this country. It's the most affirming experience I can imagine -- especially because the whole concept seems impossible when held against the chaotic state of the world at present. In spite of everything, it works. As simple as that. Upheld by legions of generous, friendly people who will go out of their way to point you in the right direction or take you in when you have nowhere to go. Even if you already have somewhere to go, they'll do their best to lure you away to their couches instead. It's so magical that I forget it's not even costing me anything. Because even if it was, I'd pay.

The door of my current abode opens into the bustling centre of the San Lorenzo market, and the flat is shared by nine people, plus a variety of guests. Between Couchsurfers, significant others, friends, and relatives, the place is packed and full of laughter all the time. Nothing can go wrong in such a utopia. I have a feeling this city will be good for my spirit.

Also in the "Good for My Spirit" department: Anticipation. I've found that (yet another) great thing about this journey has been the discovery that I really and truly love having things to look forward to. Flights, reunions, new horizons, excursions, homecomings -- If I can line up enough wonderful future occurrences, my world will never be without exuberance and joy. They can range from enjoying a piece of fresh fruit every morning, to crossing multiple countries for the sake of fleeting bliss. At present, between exploring Italy, being reunited with my Cambridge compatriots, seeing my family, returning to Ojai in the spring, and sallying forth on the tall ship sailing summer adventure of a lifetime, I seem to have done quite well. (This will most likely be counted as one of those "Lasting Gap-Year Impressions" in months and years to come…)

This evening we're engaging in Scrabbly madness at the Irish Pub where Holly works (after delicious vegan dining -- we picked out fresh vegetables from the market this morning), and tomorrow will bring new and unusual adventures. I'm contemplating taking to the hills for a few nights before I return to Roma, and so have been in touch with various hosts living in marvelous Tuscan countryside oases.

It all remains to be seen, but whatever happens: Life is beyond beautiful. I forget sometimes, but right now it's never been more obvious.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Last Words

Clocking in at just past 12:30 am every night, the garbage collectors of Salamanca hit the streets. The first evening of my stay I could've sworn there was a minor earthquake ricocheting down Calle de Don Bosco, but since then it's become a familiar fixture. Tonight, curled in bed, scribbling by candlelight and the ruddy orange glow from the streetlights, getting dripped on by the various drying garments which form a canopy overhead, I can see the windows trying to leap out of their metal frames. The juddering of the engine in the street below is dislodging droplets of condensation which run races through the variety of joyous words I've written in the steam.

Mostly, I'm packed and ready to go. As always, it has come as a surprise that I have so little with me here. After I throw out the various odd bits of paper and pack away the sealing wax and the stamps and the traveling umbrella, there's really not much left. My shoulders are fairly grateful for this fact, as tomorrow marks the return to impermanence once more. I'm catching a train very early in the morning and will be settled (if one can call it that) for my first night in Rome by 9 pm. However, as the journey is on its last legs and money isn't bursting from the seams of my backpack, I'm couchsurfing once more -- and it seems I couldn't have picked a better country to do it in.

Something in the Italian spirit really seems to spark to the Couchsurfing Project. This probably doesn't come as a surprise to most, as Italians are known for being exceedingly friendly and vivacious -- therefore marking them as obvious candidates for welcoming nomadic strangers into their homes simply for the sake of enjoying their company and showing off their beautiful city. It does mean that I'll be moving about a fair bit, but it's cheap and, more importantly, allows one to see Rome through the eyes of all its lovers and madmen. I'm preparing myself for many nights full of sparkly things and the sound of bells and the taste of pasta and wine -- and I don't doubt that the world will deliver.

Salamanca is wet and chilly, trying to decompress after a weekend of festivities. The flat has been colonized by various siblings and friends these last three days -- each night bringing new and more bizarre costumes for the assembled company prior to heading for the nightlife of downtown around 3 am. Feeling the need for a little peace and quiet before my departure, I've stayed in. However, excitement tracked me down nonetheless. Friday evening, arriving home, I was met by Paula and Julio in the midst of some sort of argument. After being convinced that I wouldn't have to get involved/decapitated, I went to put purchases away. Unfortunately, it seemed that my bulb was out, as the switch on the wall did nothing to illuminate my room.

Sensibly, I made sure the switch was off before I dragged a chair over to take a look at the situation, but apparently that wasn't enough to stop the vicious shower of sparks which exploded from the bottom of my Chinese lampshade when I attempted to remove it from the bulb. I immediately (Reflexes of a cat) uttered a violent stream of expletives and fell backwards off the chair and onto the bed, smelling more than a little of singed hair. After making sure nothing had caught fire, I realized that the entire apartment had been plunged into darkness. Many tipsy giggles from the living room, Paula threatening people with a crank-action flashlight, and Julio tripping over things in the hallway trying to find the breaker panel. Once power was restored to the rest of apartment, we gathered to assess the situation.

Gingerly, in case of further unexpected pyrotechnic displays, we managed to unscrew the bulb and investigate the wiring. We didn't have to investigate very closely. Both copper wires had been blown apart by the force of the current, although it probably didn't take much, as they were both frayed and corroded beyond all reason. We left it hanging there, melted bits of wiring hanging from the ceramic, and decided that we'd handle it in the morning. Luckily, Ann was able to lend me her desk lamp, and I'd bought some tea lights a few weeks earlier, which explains, more or less, the situation at the beginning of this installment. The dripping clothing has more to do with the terrible knowledge that I'm probably not going to have access to a washing machine for the next two weeks, and therefore decided to launder everything -- Merino be damned.

In the department of difficult things, I've lost my wallet. This is inconvenient, but not the end of the world. The only real challenge will be figuring out how I can manufacture more Pope cards. In the meantime, much cancelling of bits of plastic and applying for new student ID's, as well as a bit of nostalgia, as I'd been carrying the thing for at least seven years. Perhaps it will yet emerge from some unlikely hiding place in my room, but I'm not hopeful. I am, however, alive. This puts things in a nice sort of perspective.

Basically, this has all been the fabled Last Hurrah before I descend once more into crypticism (Not a real word, you say? It hasn't stopped me before.) and anonymity. I will, of course, do my best to update frequently in the coming two weeks, but I doubt it's going to come close to the products of unlimited computing time here in Spain. If all else fails, there will certainly be (more) postcards and letters on the way to all quarters, along with a great deal of love. Rest assured, I will be enjoying myself prodigiously.

So, until next time, ciao bellezze.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

On The Subject of Mullets

A brief word now, if I may, on mullets. They are alarming. They are here. They are there. They are everywhere. One may laugh, looking back through the family photo album or the comedic 70's teen flick -- but when you're confronted by a Ziggy Stardust knock-off in jeans and a coat first thing upon leaving the safety of your home in the morning, something very basic in the "instincts" department starts screaming. Granted, I was warned before I came, so I shouldn't make too much of a fuss, but still -- it's a mullet.

And yet, something has to be said for a culture in which 12 year old boys can get away with the sporting of such a hairstyle. If pre-pubescent males can learn to accept -- and even, dare I say it, revere -- this sort of thing in Spain, then I have hope that man's inhumanity to man may be curable after all.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Essential Bulletins

It would be wise to take note that pineapple is now running a close second to mango on the "Types Of Fruit Which, When Eaten With My Bare Hands For Breakfast, Never Fail To Make Me Giddy" leaderboard.

Please adjust accordingly.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Wee Things

Well, that's it. I'm out of the woods. Exams finished, classes as good as done, sun shining, next flight looming. Life resuming. Actually, it took less than the actual exam to shake me out of my state of stress. Heading home to study yesterday, I found myself wading hip-deep through a sea of children who had just been released from the primary school across the street. I was preoccupied with trying to remember just when the temporal correlation of verbs in the infinitive combined with "que" should be applied to the subjunctive versus the indicative -- obviously -- so it took me a couple minutes to get the message, but when it came through at last I started smiling a lot.

Still existing in the worry-free world of prepubescence, these children had no concept of homework or finals or waking up, dazed and dulled, after falling asleep on one's textbook the night before. They weren't in the least bit worried about bruised knees or getting underfoot or smiling the wrong way. They knew kung fu and ballroom dancing, practiced with wild abandon, held hands, shrieked, raced, swarmed, clung to their parents, and whispered secrets to each other with hands cupped around mouths -- just the way it's meant to be done. Halfway up the street I ground to a halt, unable to walk further, though the tide of enthusiam kept flowing around me.

At that age, I was getting up three hours before school started simply because there weren't enough hours in the day for all the imagined worlds I wanted to inhabit. I think I had homework -- I must've at some point -- but I posessed the ability to switch distinctly between work time and play time. School finished at 3:15, I worked until 4:15, y ya está. Terminado. Rest of the day free for hiking to swimming holes or making playdough or playing ocelots. (Don't get me started on ocelots.) Naming potato bugs also took up a large portion of the weekly schedule. And digging mudholes. And building fortresses. It's been way too long since I've built a fortress.

That being said, I also remember sitting under the oak trees at age 10, munching peant butter-filled pretzels and wondering who I'd be when I was big and grown-up like the kids in the high school across the field. I have dreams about sitting next to that grubby, blonde, tomboy girl with her bare feet and big imagination, telling her "In the future, you sail a tall ship. Basically, it's like the termite-riddled playstructure from 1st grade, except it's 35 meters long and the cannons work."

I know she doesn't believe me. Just like she doesn't believe me when I tell her that she'll spend seven months falling in love with huge swaths of the world with nothing more than a bag and a book to her name. I'm a little jealous, because she gets to ride her bicycle home and play frisbee with her father and spend the night covered in glitter, asleep on the matress she's dragged onto the lawn, but on the other hand, I haven't got it so bad myself these days.

It's just good to remember that the simple things are still going strong. If you'd like, spend the next two minutes thinking about really big sunflowers and being read to before falling alseep. Then we can have something in common -- if only for a little while.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

General Blather (Produced in conjunction with Colonel Procrastination and the 42nd Badger Infantry Division)

Well, I think I can safely say that I've reached critical mass with regards to all things grammatical and Españical. I've spent the majority of the day studying for tomorrow's exam, with a brief nap for recreational purposes, and am now ready to shift gears and spew forth a great quantity of things that I've been meaning to write about for the last week or so. This includes a conspicuous absence of sinus-related news.

Time, compulsive entity that she is, seems to have decided that even though Salamanca is great, there's got to be something far better "just over there." I can't see whatever it is, but that might be due to the dust storm kicked up by her rapidly shrinking figure as it disappears into the distance. Routine is carrying me along at terrifying speeds towards the 1st of February, marking my 6th month since this whole shin-dig kicked off. Half a year has passed and the Caledonian backpacker's hostel seems miles and moments away. I'm starting to feel a little frantic. I'm fairly sure it's a good sort of frantic, but it's unnerving all the same.

All through today we've had various international students coming to peer cautiously into my room, making me realize that it will be vacant as of this time next week. All too soon I must leave the land of the convenient washing machine and the language that I can now, surprisingly, understand almost all of -- but the exchange is acceptable. Certainly dangerous, as I've been informed that Florence is the stationary capitol of the world, but worth it. After all, why did I get a job if not to squander my paycheck on vast quantities of envelopes and sealing wax and writing paper and leather-bound instruments of journalry?

And speaking of envelopes and writing paper: I am happy to report that I can now bite my thumb triumphantly at anyone who claims letter writing to be a lost art. Today marks the 6th consecutive day I've received something by post. Last Tuesday, an epic installment of 13 pages (+ copious amounts of assorted photographs, newspaper clippings, and unusual tidbits) from my father. Wednesday, my beloved flip flops -- much open-toe-related rejoycing. Thursday, a holographic postcard from my best friend. Friday, a full letter from said friend. Saturday, a postcard from Ojai. (Skip Sunday. It has no significance in my life as a) I'm not particularly religious and, more importantly, b) there is no post) Finally, today, which brought a delicious four-page missive from Australia. There are even hypothetical letters and postcards which I know are working their way over here at this very moment from around the globe, so chances are good there will be something tomorrow as well. Apart from severely freaking out/impressing my flatmates, the whole experience is highly satisfying. Congratulations to all are in order.

Unfortunately, as I've been limited by studying and other things, stamp-buying hasn't happened. However, tomorrow, post-exam, in the heady and delirious world of academic freedom, I'll be able to get away from my books, hand over some money, receive some small bits of paper, judiciously apply some saliva, and have all 18 postcards shoved into the nearest mailbox before you can say "rapscallions and ruffians!" So stand by for that.

There is, of course, much more to be said, but it will have to wait because I'm being kicked off the computer by Angela who, understandably, would like to get some sleep and therefore needs me out of her room. So mañana, chicos, we'll carry on the tirade.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Common Sense

(Is apparently something I don't have.)

Case in point: After a decidedly unusual and rather robust evening -- which will most likely be documented in full at a later date -- I found myself in need of washing the compounded odor of several hundred strangers-worth of cigarette smoke out of my personal belongings. So into the wash went everything I'd been wearing, and out it came an hour or so later. Like y'do.

Generally, with me and washing clothes, there is little allowance for delicate fabrics, especially because, in my current mode of existence, washing machines are sometimes few and far between and I simply cannot go spending an extra hour getting my silk socks (Damnit, they'll just have to be wrinkly) pressed at the dry cleaners. However, I was given -- nay! Sent a really gorgeous scarf for Christmas by my parents. Of course, I hadn't bothered to check and see that it was 100% Merino handwoven in India -- I just thought it was colourful and lovely and that it would look nice with my outfit.

I'm sure you can guess what happened next. Among my sundry, hardy cottons I found something rather like a shrunken, sunset-coloured hairball, which -- once I'd actually realized that it had once been my scarf -- I covered in bitter tears of frustration and disappointment.

Which, of course, only made it shrink more.

Basically, I've come to the stark conclusion that I've grown into a label-ignoring, washing procedure ignorant troglodyte -- and am now, only logically, reaping the idiocy I have sown.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Truly, Madly...

Trawling Google News this morning, I discovered the following tantalizingly abbreviated headline:

Viking's Pizza School Reveals Recipe for How to Make Pizza Like ...

"So, that's one large rape and pillage with extra cheese then, Mr. the Red?"

Unfortunately my joy was short-lived, as it seems to have something to do with the Swiss, and relatively little to do with Vikings.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Second Fig

At the end of the day, it's hard to write about life here because it lacks the drama of movement. The movements are, on the grand scale of things, inconsequential. I walk 10 minutes to school in the morning, up and down three flights of stairs to get to various classes -- I may even spend some time waiting in lines if I have to buy groceries or stamps. And yet somehow, this feels more eventful than a week of flights and train tickets and waiting on platforms and catching buses. It's a different kind of eventful -- the kind that doesn't translate well to the digital page -- but all the same, I feel compelled to try and pass some of it on.

Fig. 1 -- Groceries. I haven't been able to use that term since...well, basically since I started traveling. It's just one of the many delights of being stationary for more than a week. Doubly delightful because it makes dining in style dirt cheap. While a decent dinner would cost around €11 in a restaurant here, I can probably find something in the market for €2 which, suitably accompanied by some vegetables and delicious beverage, is just as nice. This is also excellent training for later life, given my chosen career path.

Apart from economy, it's just nice to have a cupboard and a fridge and a saucepan to call my own. Apartment life, in general, suits me just fine after a long line of sofas and mattresses on floors and siblings' bedrooms. My flatmates, Paula, Julio, Angela, and Ann (Spanish, Spanish, Spanish, and German), are all studying various subjects at the University -- chemical engineering, communication, psychology, medicine, etc. There's a well-rounded flock of origami cranes spinning lazily from the living room ceiling and all the walls bustle with paintings (mostly Paula's) and photos of general miscellany. When not engaged in studying/cooking/cleaning, operatic narration of household tasks (In Spanish) is a common theme, as is dressing up and dancing to flamenco music. It seems only logical, then, that we would've all enjoyed watching something like Top Secret! (dubbed over in Spanish) -- which would be a correct assumption to make, because we did. We also seem to eat a lot of Haribo.

The freezing weather (Not nearly as cold as Cambridge, but pretty nippy) has given way to unexpected tracts of sunshine and blue skies. The lack of low-hanging cloud cover does make it much colder when the sun isn't around, but on the whole it's worth it. There's an open gallery here in Edificio San Boal which runs around the central courtyard on the second floor, and just as I get out of class the sun has reached the ideal point for flooding the western front with light. With the chipped archways and sandstone balustrades, deserted courtyard and empty fountain below, looming oak boughs and birdsong, it's the perfect place to relax (And write postcards -- 13 and counting) for an hour or two before tackling grammatical conundrums or translating Renaissance poetry.

Today was rough in terms of the sheer quantity of information absorbed and my general comprehension of it. I wish I had more time to master all the subjects we're covering, but that's not what this year is about. I have to leave something for when I come back. Generally, the key to making this trip successful seems to have been to move on before things have a chance to go stale. Even if it takes a few days (Or a week, in this case) to adjust and realize that the merits of the new location are equal to (or greater than) those of the last, in the end I'm left with a stream of delicious experiences and impressions.

As of now, that gasoline rainbow-covered road stretches quite far into the future. After I brave my final exams next week, I'm flying to Rome. It's looking like I'll be spending just under a week there before I take a train to Florence (possibly with a night in Siena along the way) for whatever time I have left. My only obligation is to be back in the vicinity of Ciampino Airport on the 19th, because the next day I'm fulfilling my mad personal desires and going back to England.

From there I have a month of time for cavorting about in all the quarters I wasn't able to fully enjoy during my last stint -- mostly due to working and the general insanity of Christmas. This includes, but is not limited to, the West Country, friends and relations, Wales, Cambridge, and my mother(!) who will actually be in the country sometime in late February.

So that's all of that. I'll close with something suitably dangerous, like this. If you haven't had the chance to browse the web-based section of the ever-classic McSweeney's publishing collective, please take the opportunity to do so now. (The lists division comes highly recommended for instant gratification purposes.) I only ask that you don't attempt to blame me if you suffer laughter-related injuries.

Dictated but not read.

Monday, January 21, 2008

But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends...

The nomad's gleeful grin is once more affixed to my countenance. This is the result of many factors, mostly to do with being young and mad and free and very much alive -- but more practically: I just spent three hours sitting in the sun.

Californian readers will find this statement amusing, because in California that's really all there is to do. And even if one attempts to do something else, it normally leads to sitting in the sun while doing whatever the other thing happens to be. In fact, we've all gotten so sick of sitting around in the sun that we've commissioned our elected representative to lobby for the development of the Personal Climate System (Hereafter referred to as P.C.S.) -- a device which will allow members of the public to carry their own miserable 2-foot-square patch of British weather at all times. The P.C.S. will lead to an increase in Seasonal Affective Disorder and, logically, pessimism among the Southern Californian populace, leading, in turn, to a mass exodus from Los Angeles as people realize that "Yes, it actually is that horrible."

About time, too.

I think what I'm trying to get at is this: the ground-breaking nature of my statement hinges on living somewhere where they actually have seasons. Like, say, Europe. Luckily, that's where I happen to be, and so for me, it's a rather exciting position to be in. It has less to do with the amount of pigment in my skin and more to do with the feeling of glowing from the inside out and exuding a faint aroma of synthesis as my body turns ultraviolet into Vitamin D. Tasty.

So, news.

Or rather, a lack thereof. Truthfully, updating with frequency means I have to actually write about things that don't have to do with moving from Point A to Point B by amusing and circuitous means. This is hard for me.

Luckily, the other thing frequent internet access allows for is procrastination.

That's right. That's my trump card. And I'm playing it with gusto.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Beyond The Grasp of Reason

It occurred to me this morning that it might be a good idea to update a little more frequently during my time in Salamanca, if only because I'm in the technologically advantageous position of having free, speedy internet for as long as I need it every afternoon. Actually, I've (more or less) been in this position for the last couple of months, and yet it seems that my initial blogging vitality of last August (A staggering 11 posts) has gotten lost somewhere along the way.

This is fair for neither me nor you, because it leads to vast tracts of senseless rambling about whatever happens to be closest to the surface of my mental soup at the time. The normal upshot is that I get a headache from spending too much time in front of the monitor, and you have to sift through deranged jabbering about prehistoric alligators -- which most likely gives you a headache as well. Entonces, I'll try to make this a little less painful in the coming weeks for all parties involved. So, to recap, or precap, as the case may be...

Things that have transpired since I last attempted to hack out something coherent in the Annals of Me:

1. Expectoration.
A veritable Everest of tissues and a lot of enthusiastic hemming and hawking. A large theme (logically) following the situation outlined in my last installemnt, which has been lovingly referred to as "The Snot Post" by members of my immediate family. It should be noted that, although I established this blog to assure them I have not been eaten by sloths or other slow-moving predators whilst on my many and varied travels, I understand that you may not all want to hear about the gory details of my health and safety. In short: I solemnly promise to stop writing about my sinuses (Or any other bodily functions) after this. Really.

2. Multilingualism.
15 days of eating, breathing, hearing, and speaking Spanish have finally taken their toll -- in a good way. Although I'm still frustratingly incapable of speaking eloquently, I'm at least speaking frequently. This is a Good Thing. Yesterday, with much mangling of syntax, I managed to completely lose track of time talking to one of my housemates, Paula, for at least 5 hours. I find that I've become accustomed to the sound of the Spanish lisp, and have far less trouble understanding people than I did when I first arrived. We discussed family members and travel and global citizenry and the varied glories of the "raving mad, but exceedingly happy" lifestyle of which we are both devotees. Wanting to practice her conversational English, she asked me to tell her about San Fransisco. I obliged as much as I could, given that most of what I know about it has to do with the aquatic side of things, in English -- which made it rather difficult.

Reason being, it had been 5 days since a word of the language had passed my lips, which could be considered a feat by some considering the staggering amounts of American students here who insist on speaking it. All the time. Which rather defeats the purpose of coming here to learn another language, no?

They also seem to have brought with them -- in the same way tarantulas may be found in imported bunches of bananas -- their love of beer pong. I don't think I need to say anything else.

However, on the whole, my classmates have been a charming and intelligent bunch. A slew of South Koreans, one Greek, two Brazillians, a three-woman New Zeland contingent, a smattering of Brits, the rare Canadian, two Italians, and one of whatever it is I've turned into. I've given up trying to figure it out. The other night a few of us went out for dinner, and I arrived back home filled with pleasant surprise at the realization that we had spent an enjoyable evening entirely in another language. The human brain is an astonishing thing.

3. Mail.
I got a letter! Well, a card. But still! Thrilling! I have also requested to be reunited with my beloved sandals which are, I hope, headed my way via the nefarious passageways of the international postal system this very moment. My feet are singing joyous hymns of praise in their little cotton socks.

4. Chopping.
I cut off my Turk's Head yesterday. For those readers who are not of the tall ship sailing variety, and therefore find this sentence alarming, allow me to explain. A Turk's Head (Also frequently referred to as Nantucket Sailor's Bracelets on that other coast) is a decorative knot of myriad uses, commonly worn by tall ship sailors wherever tall ship sailors can attach them -- which is mostly everywhere. Instead of being tied on, their are built around a cylindrical base, in this case a wrist/ankle/waist etc, and left there. It is often possible to tell the saltiness of any given sailor by the shade of his or her Turk's Head, as the tar of the seine twine tends to wear away over time. Therefore, if the fellow next to you with the blackened left wrist starts casting off lifts for no apparent reason, do not follow suit.

This particular Turk's Head had been on my wrist since late June. As with anything one wears for such an extended period of time, it had simply become a part of me in much the same way that tall ship sailing became a part of me -- stealthily, but firmly. Unfortunately, for some reason, it started to turn my skin an odd colour which was not the normal colour of tar being transferred to skin. As there's no handy clasp, (It seems impossible for one to distance oneself from the siren song of the sea so easily...) I was forced to take a knife to it. If there had been any other option I would've gladly pursued it, but it was not to be. I feel strangely incomplete now, but thoughtfully brought a nip of twine in case of just such an emergency and so, as soon as I'm dermatalogically stable, I'll have a new one.

5. The Booking High.
This last point is arguably the most important, simply because it contains the very essence of what I love (And occasionally hate) about my life at present. Traveling alone allows one the ultimate freedom of deciding all the who's, what's, when's, and where's without necessarily needing to explain the why's. Generally a simple "Because I can" is sufficient. This always leaves me feeling a little giddy when I decide to actually cement the next step of the journey (most recently, I booked myself a flight to Rome, so my thoughts are already skimming ahead to the future of February 5th, when I will move on once more), and leads to much twiddling of fingers and tapping of toes and cavorting and grinning and other signs of ill-contained glee and excitement.

I'll elaborate on this theme when I next find time to write because:

a) We're straying dangerously close to prehistoric alligator territory.

b) This is more than long enough already.

c) Rome is just the tip of the iceberg.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Instruments of the Apocalypse

Alarmingly enough, it seems that the pressure in my sinuses (In mucosa per square nostril) is now actually great enough to prevent my synapses from firing. Case in point: I sat down to start this installment over an hour ago and have yet to succeed in getting more than three coherent words out. Still, in the interests of science, I must persevere. So: This week! What a week it has been! What glorious heights and despicable depths! What grandeur! What deplorable horrendousness! In short: A wondrous world of contradiction awaits.

Basically: I stayed in a hostel, I met some people, I found my missing enthusiasm, I got very sick, I took a test, I started classes, I ate food, I didn't eat food (more common), I wrote a letter, I found an apartment, I walked a lot, I dropped a class, I was exposed to many birds, I went to sleep.

And now, in stereo! (Technically impossible due to the fact my nose is currently full of this fellow and his associates, and Graham Chapman is not my brother) So, perhaps more accurately, con detalles.

The Salamanca Youth Hostel was, in and of itself, utterly soulless. Apart from being terrifyingly clean (I'll give it that much), the place lacked any useful attributes. No kitchen, no internet, no nothing. Luckily, I met some lovely people there, and had my failing faith bolstered by the fact that they were, by and large, in the same situation as I; New students in search of accommodation or mad nomads in search of whatever it is us mad nomads are searching for. I enjoy the company of both. Really, the most important aspect of it all was the location. The centre of Salamanca is hemmed in by a ring road which roughly follows the Medieval city limits. All that is good and holy lies therein. By such reckoning, my first 5 days in the city were actually spent outside the city and thus my initial impressions were somewhat warped. The Hostel, however, lies within this magical boundary, and is therefore a worthwhile place to be. Driven mad by lack of food and a raging sore throat, I ventured forth on my first night in search of nourishment. Although I ultimately found what I sought, more important things were encountered beforehand.

The state of disillusioned pressimism into which I had sunk at the command of illness, exhaustion, and hunger was no match for the sheer beauty and antiquity of the city's most ancient sector. Between domed chapels, towering University buildings, landscaped squares, and cathedrals bristling with spires, I wandered in a daze, overcome by the unnatural glow of Salamancan sandstone -- a mix of mellow gold and ripening peaches -- and the ever-present chattering cries of the swallows who make their homes behind the ears of saintly statuary. Unforunately, and I promise this is the only cynical pause I will make in an otherwise rapturous series of impressions, the massed quanity of avian life residing in the intricately carved façades leads (logically) to an overpowering presence of guano. The smell is breathtakingly robust and worth a postcard home all on its own.

Anyway, la ciudad. El centro. Streets thronging with people, lights twinkling, smells wafting, architecture impressing, &c. I finally got myself a sandwich after revelling in my rediscovered traveler's glee for an hour or so. At last, things were back to the way they should to be -- and I was feeling keen. With my sensibilities thus restored, I returned to the hostel and slept and awoke and traipsed off to the University for my placement test. Mostly harmless, although the oral portion of the exam proved difficult because I had relatively little voice left, and ended up squeaking a lot. Not so great for my dignity, but the man seemed to understand well enough. Perhaps he knows something of canaries and their mysterious ways -- See: Guano.

I could go into everything else in detail, but our friend the leitmotif is at it again and I may have to ingest something shortly to avoid passing out. Therefore: commencing Reader's Digest Mode once more. Started classes (3), mostly enjoyable (2), sole difficulty of having to defy certain norms in order to arrive on time (1). Explanation: Two of my classes take place in Edificio de San Boal, in the Northern section of the city. The rest of the University buildings are in the Southern portion. One needs 15 minutes to get from one building to the other -- and that's walking quickly -- and yet someone thought it would be possible to give me the following schedule: 9am - 11am Grammática (San Boal), 11:05 - 12:05 Historia de España (Universidad), 12:10 - 1:10 Literatura de España y Latinoamericana (San Boal). I tried to make this work. It doesn't.

Combined with the fact that the history class was far beyond my level of linguistic comprehension, I decided to switch to something more sensible. In the meantime, I also found myself a room with a host of other students. Although the place is outside the ring of enchantment, I boasts some fabulous flatmates and a whole load of character. It's also quiet, which is an adjective rarely used to describe the centre after dark. I moved my things in yesterday and fully unpacked my backpack for the first time in ages. Cooking, drinking of tea (Oh sweet, sweet bliss), homework, letters, showering, sleep. Muy bueno.

Even on the health front, perverse progress has been made. Generally, when moving through the cycle of the common cold -- although I firmly believe that this is something far more sinister -- I find that the relocation of the symptoms to my sinuses is generally the beginning of the end. And while my cough still sounds remarkably like Death's own ebony maracas, I can now swallow without wanting to gargle vast quantities of novocaine and my temperature seems to have descended to an acceptable level. Considering how enthused I've been in spite of my ill health these past few days, I can only deduce that once I am cured I will be unstoppable.

The order of the day this weekend is rest and relaxation, combined with trying to bolster my vocabulary and cooking tasty things and writing letters. Hopefully, by Monday, I will be hale and hearty once more, ready for more cranium-swelling mornings in the Land of Multilingualism. In case anyone feels the urge, I will be reachable at the following address until February 1st -- or rather, until however long before that date it takes to send me something. (I understand my readership is of a somewhat more global nature these days, so you'll have to work that one out for yourselves.) Lucy Bellwood, Calle de Don Bosco, 13, 3º A, 37004, Salamanca, España.

There. That's it. I'm done.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

On Beds and Other Maladies

This blog has been languishing in draft form for the last several days simply because I can't figure out what voice-set I'm going to use to write it in. Allow me to explain: When I write, I do so in a particular tone. Unfortunately, as I am a porous mass of brain tissue, I tend to absorb the tones of other writers currently within my sphere of reference. When presented with a wide variety of styles, my brain tends to go a little haywire, leaving me unable to figure out which gear is which in my liguistic nodes and thus: Garbage ensues.

I was really trying to avoid that. Just to give a little attempted explanation, I've been reading: The Autobiography of Charles Darwin (Regency/Victorian tone, lots of snuff, juicy details about the sex lives of orchids), The Road to Samarcand by Patrick O'Brian (1950's linguistic stereotypes, a noticeable lack of political correctness, "Gee," "Swell," yetis), and this (Zombies, vitriol). Literature aside, the battle for my brain has also been joined by the Forces of Cultureshock. Its diabolical horde attacks in two prongs: American (My current hosts -- East Coast, no less) and Spanish (The country I am physically in). I hadn't realized just how deeply I'd nestled myself into my British identity until I was brought face to face with my countrymen once more. The phrase "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" comes to mind. Between trying to remember my original accent and bringing everything down a few notches in the vocabulary department, I've fairly exhausted myself.

It's not that I don't miss California, because I do. It's lovely. (And apparently full of water. Sorry guys.) It's just that there are some things about America that I'd like to forget exist, like the fact that within it are people who still use this "word" with impunity. (Among other things) My spelling skills are rapidly undergoing schizophrenic breakdown after trying to remember which side of the Atlantic prefers "re" to "er," and something deep in my soul started to sob when I realized there was nothing in the kitchen cabinet resembling proper tea. I'd like to go home now, please. And by home, I mean the one where they like books and distrust Budweiser -- as opposed to the other way 'round.

And furthermore (!) since I've been stationary for more than 48 hours, my body has decided, as it so often does, that now would be a good time to succumb to all the foul germs I've been exposed to in my pilgrimage from up North. I am, very graduallly and with great stealth, misplacing my voice -- something which surprises me every time I go to say something and find that I sound one notch closer to Louis Armstrong. Still, considering the sheer gross tonnage of Vitamin (The one word whose pronunciation remains stable no matter where I am. Cheers, mum.) C and Echinacia I've consumed, something's got to give. Whether it's the virus or -- well...we'll leave that for a later post. Suffice to say it remains to be seen, but I'm sure you'll all be the first to know about it.

Frankly, this has all been a load of blather. I should say something of substance. I'm in Spain -- Salamanca to be precise, although I think I already established that in my last update. I'm trying desperately to find some sort of permanent accommodation for the next month. As of this afternoon, I'll be moving into a hostel downtown for the next four nights, hoping to locate some other international travelers interested in establishing a nomadic utopia in the Plaza Mayor. We'll see how that goes. Apart from gulping down throat rememdy tea, I'm also bracing myself for tomorrow morning, when I'll be taking my placement exam at the University. As of now, it isn't the language classes I fear, but the two electives I signed up for -- mainly because they'll be taught, I believe, entirely in Spanish. This is terrifying. I'm not sure what I was thinking. Between History of Spain and Spanish and Latin American Literature, I may be reduced to a whimpering pile of preterite and pluperfect conjugations before the week is out, but as I only have an hour of each every day, I may survive.

Held against the gleaming lifestyle of the past month, things here were looking fairly grim to begin with, but I'm trying to have patience and give this whole experience a chance. At some point I know I'll be able to get back to my blissed-out, romanticised traveler's mind-set and regail you all with stories of how fabulous my itinerant lifestyle is, but there have to be some bad times to hold up to the good, yes? Yes.

So until I find myself once more before a montior with a few handy hours to spare, adieu. And to the sterling folk who wrote me cards for Christmas: You will most certainly not be first against the wall when the Revolution comes.